Yes, I like lemons. But as the saying goes "When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade".
Oh yeah? Well then,everything about my life has been about lemons and lemonade.
Time seems to pass us by at epic speed. Especially when you get older. Days turn into months, turn into years in the blink of an eye. This year I'm going to be 40. As a matter of fact, I am going to be 40 in 4 days. Last month I celebrated my good childhood friend's 40th birthday. The month before that we did a fun photo shoot celebrating 40. My friend Kris rang in her 40th Birthday by experiencing 40 things she had never done. Thinking that was an awesome idea I never really got around to doing this myself. Anna( you will meet Anna) will tell you that I did in fact accomplish 40+ new things I've never done well before I turned 40. When I actually get around to writing them down I will share them.
Last week my pre birthday celebration accompanied by Mary Liz ( you will meet Mary Liz) consisted of a doctor visit to Sioux Falls to have another mamogram and another ultrasound and then 3 biopsies on my right breast. Yes. You read this correctly. I also sat down with my doctor for the very first time where she proceeds to tell me after looking at my mamogram from Pierre ,she is defintely looking at a form of breast cancer. There. I said it. I said breast cancer. For my 40th Birthday I received breast cancer. And now my eyes are beginning to fill up and it's not the 1st time even though I am handling this news pretty well. I am scared. I am full of whys and what nows. I am sad, upset, angry. None of those emotions will get me anywhere. I am also determined, smart, happy, loved. I am also a fighter. I have always had to fight. I was a fighter from the day I was born. I was raised a fighter. I am not about to stop now. You will hear me say Mind over Matter. And I mean it. You will hear me say I am a Rockstar. And I mean it. My own mother had breast cancer and beat it. She is a survior and I will too! I have a gazillion reasons to fight and live and I have a gazillion things yet to do, And I will. Accomplish it all. I know. I was given this card I don't particularly like. I was given this card and it's scary as hell. I know everyone around me is freaking the f*!k out. All the while I smile and I breathe easy and I am calm. If I allowed myself I would hold my breath, I would feel like I'm under water, I would suffocate. I've been there in my life before too. But then I look at my sweet pea Laeyn. My youngest daughter who was born on my birthday 9 years ago. I look at my daughter Raileyn, 10 going on 25, who is so tender hearted, and happy and smart that she knows exactly what is going on with mommy and demands to know everything. I look at my son Dustyn 15 who is a total teenage boy. He needs someone to kick his butt from time to time and his mama to tell him how it's gonna be. Then he is sweet and funny and brilliant. Then there is Kaitleyn. Almost 18, a senior, with the real world closing in. I remember being 18 and thinking I knew it all. The truth is I needed my mom to bring me down to Earth and she will too.She is so smart she could be anything. I just want her to do something great. There's my husband Ben. He and I have been tested to the core already with our blended! I have been crazy for 3/4 the time we've been together. He must love crazy! Of course Ben and I are two of the most normal people in the world! When I say normal I really mean boring, stay home and hide from the world kind of people, Of course we couldn't have a normal boring life. And we don't. We have never had a normal boring life. Not from the moment we met. Just when we think we might finally be on the right road to peace and quiet life throws another lemon. Oh Hell! Who am I kidding!?! I love to have fun. I could never settle for boring!!!
